Hope

Where to start ... today we had another visit to CHEO's medical day unit.  These visits are becoming part of our routine; we get there early in the morning, have Phoebe's blood tested, talk to the doctors, and then we are off on our way back home to enjoy the day.  Today, was unfortunately anything but routine.  Phoebe had her blood tested, and the results showed some abnormalities.  Her white blood cell count is 26 which is high and not a great sign.  Our doctors are very concerned that it may be her cancer returning and are running more tests.  They are also stopping the drug that suppresses her immune system, in the hopes that her new cells will fight off any left over bad ones.

We are scared and worried, but we are also very hopeful. We have hope and love in abundance and we believe with all that we are that Phoebe will be okay.  There are elements of Phoebe's blood work that the doctors can't explain and that gives us even more hope.  Phoebe's platelets and hemoglobin have also climbed, which is a great sign and not something that would be seen if her cancer had returned.  She is also doing really well.  She is thriving actually.  Growing, babbling, saying new words, trying to crawl and eating.  She is finally eating.  She actually yells at us when the spoon holding the avocado is given too slowly.  She is feisty and strong, and she will make it over this obstacle too. 

Many times throughout this journey, Phoebe has defied the odds, proven her doctors wrong, and accomplished what some have thought to be impossible.  This is no different.  Like I told Phoebe's doctor today, although I recognize the severity of the situation, I know that everything will be okay.  That somehow, someway, this is just another one of Phoebe's many hurdles on her road to complete recovery.

So, now we wait. Wait for more test results, for more blood work and for signs of Graft Versus Host Disease.  Phoebe will have her blood tested again on Sunday and Tuesday, and the results of her previous tests should be available next week.  In the meantime, I will continue to focus on wonderful and very brave Phoebe Rose, because I know that doing this will help me to climb this mountain with her.  Seeing her smile, grow and thrive fills me with incredible hope and strength.  And as usual, in her own way, Phoebe is reassuring me that everything will be okay.